Literary Nerds Unite

Reality is settling in again, but for 3 very cool days I was able to have some time away from Deutschland. My rabbit hole was a place where people smile at you for no reason at all, customer service isn't a wistful memory, I could understand every map and street sign and perhaps best of all got to see where some of my favorite authors lived, and where many classic books and movies were written and filmed.
Thursday I spent all day in Oxford and went to see Christ Church College where John Wesley attended, and much of the scenery and environment inspired Carroll's writings like Alice in Wonderland. Scenes from Harry Potter were filmed there too, which explains the random pic of a staircase seen below. It appears in the movie along with Christ Churches Great Hall which Hogwarts Great Hall is modeled after. I saw Magdalen College (pronounced Maudlin) where C.S. Lewis taught and lived, I think Oscar Wilde was educated there too, but I could be wrong..and where Shadowlands was filmed, and various points around the city like the Radcliffe Camera built by Christopher Wren. One of the high points was eating at the Eagle & Child where Tolkien, and Lewis and the other Inklings would meet on Tuesdays and discuss their work. (their fish and chips are GOOD!) I stayed in a really eclectic hostel and went to a really bad comedy show at the bar next door. You gotta take the good with the bad I guess.
Friday I was off again, back to London for the next two days. I wanted to see some of the places I missed when I was there in August. The National Gallery is amazing! The 1500-1600 section was my favorite: you can find works by DaVinci, Michelangelo, and Raphael there.
The National Portrait Gallery is interesting. Who knew a video of David Beckham sleeping, was art?
I had never been to a play or performance before (except for a few ballets on school field trips) so I really wanted to see a show while I was in London. The cheapest one I could find that still had seats was a matinee' of Stomp. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it! Good times.
It was hard to come back, it felt so good to be able to relax and cut-loose for a few days. But at the same time, K-town definitely feels like home, and getting home is always a good thing, except of course for the mound of dirty laundry that you get to do..what a reality check.

Oxford

Sheldonian Theatre and Radcliffe Camera, The Great Hall of Christ Church College (aka Hogwarts Great Hall), a random view of Oxford with the Bodleian Library and Radcliffe Camera behind me, Eagle and Child meeting place of the Inklings, The "New Building" built in 1700's, where C.S. Lewis lived, the staircase used in Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone, and the sign marking Alice's Sweet Shop, the shop Carroll used in Through the Looking Glass.

Relapse

I am not sure what started me down this path of thought today..(in other words this is your warning that I am processing as I am writing this). Earlier this evening I was having English conversation "time" with a new friend of mine. We spent about 3 hours in Starbucks talking about everything from his experience growing up in East Berlin before the wall came down to the issue of teen pregnancy in the U.S. At some point I was sharing how I believed everyone has "their thing." (he is not a believer) This "thing" represents a particular weakness or sin that we are particularly susceptible too, and must trust God to help us guard against. For some it is drinking, or drugs, pornography or other sexual sins. Or it might be something equally damaging but less threatening initially, like comparing ourselves to others and either being crippled by low self-worth..or pride.
Anyway..tonight I was reading out of one of my new favorite books. It is old actually- it is a book of C.S. Lewis poetry that I got for Christmas. One of the first poems that the book fell open too tonight leaped out at me:

"Out of the wound we pluck
The shrapnel. Thorns we squeeze
Out of the hand. Even poison forth we suck,
And after pain have ease.

But images that grow
Within the soul have life
Like cancer and, often cut, live on below
The deepest of the knife,

Waiting their time to shoot
At some defenceless hour
Their poison, unimpaired, at the heart's root,
And, like a golden shower,

Unanswerably sweet,
Bright with returning guilt,
Fatally in a moment's defeat
Our brazen towers long-built;

And all the former pain
And all our surgeon's care
Is lost, and all the unbearable (in vain
Borne once) is still to bear.

So when you read this, what do you think "images that grow within the soul," means? This poem gives me a few things to think on, and I am not going to share all of them right now; but one is, what about the heart issue stuff? The deep stuff, the cancer in our blood that shapes us- and whether we realize it or not silently dictates much of reaction and responses? This poem paints for me a very poignant picture of what sin does to me when I allow it to linger in my heart. It takes root. It grows under the surface. And it could cripple me with guilt and shame, or perhaps harden my heart so that I don't recognize it's presence.
I don't think I have the right words to express how thankful I am that Christ the "Living Water" is ready and willing to wash that cancer away from us each time, if we are willing to relinquish it, or perhaps first even acknowledge it's existence. I think it cheapens the process of healing and redemption if we think we are not susceptible to it forever after. We are clean, we are free, but we must also not forget it is waiting to again shoot it's poison at us in some "defenceless hour."
I feel that I have been challenged to really re-think upon when my "defenceless hours" may be... When am I the most vulnerable?